LARP and Mental Health

 It's an odd relationship between Xanodria and my mental health.

I am very medicated due to my depression and anxiety.  The medication is nice.  I don't want to destroy myself like I used to.  I don't suddenly go from minor mishap until the world is ending. It's a good thing.

However, the medication doesn't work perfectly. During COVID I didn't LARP.  Also during this time I had these - what would I call them - anxiety attacks - waking nightmares? They would involve terrible things happening to my children and I would have to bury them. There were songs at their funeral and everything. I have buried my family (because sometimes my wife was included in these mental tragedies) more than I care to remember. It was horrific enough that I considered getting therapy (which admittedly would help with my situation regardless but my schedule is insanely tight at the moment)

However, once I went back to the LARP, it stopped.  Granted I play a guy who has lost a child to a villain. I honestly think that the LARP helps as a safe space to explore my anxieties.  It's a good thing. 

I have thought that maybe the LARP is the problem, but I used to have these anxieties before, and they were before I played the character I do.  In fact, when they asked for a greatest fear for my character, I explained my character isn't developed enough yet to really have a greatest fear but losing my children is my greatest fear in real life.  The GMs for that particular game played with that and thus I got to experience that fear in game. Like I said, a safe space to explore these anxieties.

Now I know LARP doesn't replace good therapy.  I swear at some point I will get to therapy.  It's just not happening right now. I am functional enough that the motivation for it is not there. My apologies for that.

#LARP

#Mentalhealth